To make a comment on any post in this blog section (see list of blog posts in the left side widget column), send me an e-mail with your comment and I’ll consider posting it after reviewing it.  I had to resort to this method because of the number of non-sensical, spam-type of comments that I’ve been receiving lately.  I regret having to make this change, but it is necessary.  Thank you for your understanding.  I hope to hear from you!

I prayed with a 9-yr. old boy this morning who came to the altar for prayer for his mom. He said his mom needed love. After a minute of gently talking with him, I anointed his hands with oil, and with tears in my own eyes I prayed for his own child-like faith to be so empowered that as he went home and laid hands on his own mother, with the simple words, “Mom, Jesus loves you, and so do I”, that the uncontainable, gushing over, overwhelming love of God would overflow from God and into that little boy’s mom. He then asked me a really honest, straight-forward question, right there at the altar! “Pastor, how do you know this will happen?” I simply told him, “…Because I know the prayers of children are special to God and He hears them…do you believe and trust that God heard you when you just asked him to give your mom more love?” (he quickly and definitely said “Yes!”)…(I continued telling him…) “…and you are a child of God with more faith than many people who are much older and even pastors in the church today. Now you just go home, put your arms around your mom and just love her, and share Jesus’ love with her, and He will touch her heart through you…do you believe that?” He said, “Yes, I believe that He will!” I was the one who needed the box of tissues after that! Yes, child-like faith…”Let the children come unto me, do not hinder them, for to such belongs the Kingdom of God.”

To make a comment on any post in this blog section (see list of blog posts in the left side widget column), send me an e-mail with your comment and I’ll consider posting it after reviewing it.  I had to resort to this method because of the number of non-sensical, spam-type of comments that I’ve been receiving lately.  I regret having to make this change, but it is necessary.  Thank you for your understanding.  I hope to hear from you!

Two and a half hours ago power went out in our home…actually, it was out for our entire block on our street. I immediately placed a power outage call to the power company (Jersey Central Power and Light…or, JCP&L). It took about an hour and an half for the repair truck to show up outside our house, but that’s still a great response time! When that truck showed up I posted a Facebook comment, “Now, if only some answers to prayer would manifest this quickly!” About 5 minutes ago (after the utility repairman working on the problem for about 45 minutes in hurricane force winds standing in a bucket on the end of a hydraulic arm about 25 ft. off of the ground) the power came back on, and I posted the comment, “Power is restored!”

I want to comment further on both of my previous FB posts regarding the answers to prayer and power being restored. I feel strongly about both of these issues, and I also feel that there is much doctrinal error concerning both of these in the Church today.

My thought this morning was, “Oh, no…the power is out! What do we do now? My laptop only has a few minutes of battery power, my connection to the Internet is completely dependent upon the power being on, the stove is gas but the igniter is electric, the refrigerator won’t hold the cold…”, etc., etc. My cousin just wrote to me as a reply to my FB comment about the power being out, “In my house that’s cause for panic!” Yes, I agree completely…the knee-jerk reaction to a power outage IS panic! It’s a scary thing to have the power go out, to hear the howling, gusting wind outside, to see and hear the driving rain beating on the windows! But my observation and following question is this…”The power has ‘gone out’ in the Church and the wind is howling and the storm is raging…why isn’t anyone overly concerned about this?” While there may (or maybe not!) have been a spiritual “panic” at first, we seem to have gotten used to getting by with candles (religion) and flashlights (our own attempts to provide power). Communication certainly isn’t working (between pastors and pastors, pastors and people, people and pastors, people and people, and EVERYONE and GOD), the answers to prayers aren’t manifesting (probably due to the breakdown in communication), and the “food” that is being served in many churches isn’t even reheated left-overs…it’s cold “take-out”, generic, and it may have been relevant for the pastor’s study or for times past, or at best it is doctrinally correct but practically and relationally irrelevant, out of touch with where people truly are in their lives (because the pastors/preachers are out of touch with the people (see my previous note for more on this…shepherds should smell like the sheep, otherwise they are simply “professional preachers” who may be great orators but are lousy pastors). And people still live with their problems, they still go to church, they still stand up and sit down on command, they still accept that nothing can (or will) be done except to continue “business as usual” (which is a putrefying concept for the Church of Jesus Christ!)

So, the problem(s) remain…Where has the ‘power’ gone in our lives and in our churches? Why aren’t more people (pastors?!) concerned about this? When is God going to send us shepherds that truly will shepherd the flock? When will the Church STOP being satisfied with unanswered prayer and powerlessness, and stop trying to make up for these deficiencies with high-powered, secular, business organization/management solutions, candles, flashlights, spiritual-gasoline-powered generators (religion, human effort and reasoning, bigger is better, etc.)? I’m not advocating a full-blown panicking, but maybe a little panic over this situation would do us some GOOD here! Why don’t our prayers seem to get any higher than bouncing off of the brassy heaven above our heads? Why doesn’t God come as quickly as JCP&L did to fix the problem(s)?

I don’t buy into the “Word of Faith” teaching that if the prayers we pray aren’t answered (or don’t seem to be answered, or aren’t manifested) by God then there’s something wrong with US…we didn’t pray with ENOUGH FAITH! That is nothing but condemning, guilt producing, legalistic trash. I’m NOT suggesting that instead of US being the problem that there must be something wrong with God. I AM saying, though, that there is something wrong with the teaching that there must ONLY be EITHER something wrong with us OR God, and it certainly isn’t God. There are other factors in prayer that the “name it and claim it” camp totally disregard. Such factors include God’s timing, our timing, other people (vacationers pray for sunshine, farmers pray for rain, etc.), selfishness, pride, our inability/unwillingness to deal with uncomfortable situations and God’s desire to disciple us THROUGH such times, etc., etc. I simply refuse to believe and practice that if I ask for something in prayer then believe it enough that God is obligated to give it to me! I also reject the notion that if I REALLY had “true” faith, I wouldn’t have to ask for something again…asking again would mean I didn’t have enough faith for it the first time I asked. Once again, this is religious, guilt producing rubbish.

I am extremely confident (not proudly arrogant, but well-grounded and humbly confident) in my relationship and fellowship with the Lord. Because of this, I CAN ASK these questions KNOWING that I am NOT in a faith-deprived state when I ask them! Faith that our God loves us, cares for us, provides for us, etc., drives us DEEPER into Him, causes us to SEEK Him in-and-through our questions and unsolved problems. I believe that religionists and doctrinalists are more upset by our questions than God is! I believe God delights in them! He sometimes purposefully allows and even prompts us to question Him, knowing it will draw/drive us closer TO Him! I do know some who allowed themselves to go in the opposite direction and they forsook God because He didn’t answer them as they wanted Him to…but I also have the confidence that God will bring them back to Him! He will reveal Himself to them and show them that His existence, His love, His providence, His care for them (and us) does NOT depend upon whether WE experience Him as we would like to. He remains God, and His will for us is still that we do not live under condemnation, and in this case it would be the condemnation of even ourselves, and that of religionists and modern day Pharisees who would teach and preach that God MUST answer our prayers otherwise we simply are not asking with enough faith. If THAT WERE the Truth, I’d leave Christianity behind as well.

So, where do we go from here with this? I wish I knew and could write down the formulas for assured answered prayer and continued unlimited power in the Church. (Actually, I don’t wish this…I literally hate scripted, religious formulas! I believe God does, too! I counsel you to literally RUN from anyone who proposes such formulas to you.) The Word of God gives us insight into these things, but it was NEVER meant to be such a formula or set of formulas to “success” or “great faith”. It WAS meant to reveal God’s character to us, His unfathomable love for us TO us, and to lure/entice/call/set us on a JOURNEY of LIFE and FAITH seeking Him, finding Him, following Him, realizing our further need for Him, questioning Him, seeking Him, finding Him, following Him, realizing our further need for Him, questioning Him, seeking Him, finding Him…etc., etc.

I do not propose answers here…only questions. But I sincerely believe that it is IN our questions, and as the questions drive us to seek Him more desperately, that God WILL make Himself known to us. The Christian life is a JOURNEY of living by faith and then constantly reevaluating what that faith is! It is a constant seeking and finding of God, not that He’s playing hide-and-seek with us, but that He is constantly drawing us, through our questions, desperation and seeking, from faith to faith, from glory to glory. When will we finally understand fully? The Bible is very clear on this…”when we see Him we will fully know Him, even as now we are fully known by Him.” While I live in this earth and in this body, I know that I will NEVER EVER find or know Him completely. I will ALWAYS have questions, see and experience “power outages” in both my life and in the Church. I pray that the Holy Spirit will ALWAYS cause or prompt an immediate “panic” in my spirit over these things! I pray that such “panic” will prompt me to first examine myself, then to speak the truth in love over myself and others, and that we all have humble and contrite hearts before our holy God and come to Him in sincere repentance for how we missed Him. Then I pray God will KEEP me (and us) in the palm of His Hand and under the shadow of His wings even if/when I (we) don’t feel Him and when I don’t understand Him (or myself!). I KNOW that God will ALWAYS answer that prayer in the affirmative, and will manifest the realization of that to me (us) in His timing.

To make a comment on any post in this blog section (see list of blog posts in the left side widget column), send me an e-mail with your comment and I’ll consider posting it after reviewing it.  I had to resort to this method because of the number of non-sensical, spam-type of comments that I’ve been receiving lately.  I regret having to make this change, but it is necessary.  Thank you for your understanding.  I hope to hear from you!

 Dear friends, colleagues, family, and faithful supporters,

I have been anxiously looking forward to the time when I could send this e-mail to you all!  This is my announcement of my next mission trip to Targu-Mures, Romania.  The dates are set:  Monday, April 26, through Tuesday, May 11.  I’ll be flying out of Newark, NJ, for a 13-hour commute (not much longer than what it takes to commute into NYC!) to Romania!   This will be my third mission trip there.  Of ultimate importance is that ALL of my family, friends, colleagues, and supporters PRAY for God’s favor and anointing on my during this mission trip!  I don’t go there simply because it’s a trip to Europe or for vacation…to the contrary, I am God’s ambassador…as Paul was, I consider my calling to be a “light to the Gentiles”, and I desperately need your prayers!  Thank you so much!

 While in Romania on this trip I will be teaching a full week  - 4 hours/day (9:00 a.m. until 1:00 p.m.), 5 days per week, from May 3^rd to May 7^th – of Discipleship Training to the new students at the YWAM (Youth With A Mission) Base in Targu Mures, Romania, under the direction of Jerry and Carmen Busch.  I will be teaching on “The Believer’s Identity in Christ and the Power of the Cross”.  What an exciting topic!

 During the days before the DTS classes, during the evenings of the DTS class days, and during the days following until the end of my trip, I will be ministering in worship, preaching, teaching, and prayer at a number of local Romanian and Gypsy churches, as well as going on evangelical outreaches with the YWAM team and other local pastors and ministers in small, local villages where the poverty is overwhelming and the need for the love of Christ is of the highest urgency.  I will also be serving as a pastoral counselor to the YWAM staff and students.  The need for such pastoral counseling and support is so great that on my last trip to Romania in September I did not have even ONE day that did not have a pastoral counseling appointment scheduled.  I may even get to share my “born-again and Holy Ghost baptism” testimony on Romanian national TV!  (For those who have not heard it, it is a quite unique story, to be sure!)  I will also be meeting with local pastors and ministry leaders who are involved in planting new churches, running youth camps, and ministering through worship, intercession, and evangelism to help strengthen and encourage them in the GREAT work that they are doing.  Basically, God is sending me there to be their “Aaron” or “Jonathan”, to hold their arms up, to come alongside of them in whatever way(s) that I can.

 I am so confident that God has called me to this ministry, and to this specific mission trip to Romania, that I have already purchased the airline tickets!  I receive absolutely no compensation from this at all.  The entire trip will cost approximately $2000.00, but I only have less than $1000.00 left in my ministry bank account, which is already spent on the airline tickets to and from Romania.  The bank account is now empty, and I simply can’t go to Romania without the means to pay for lodging, food, travel, etc., while I am there.  Gasoline costs the equivalent of $6.00/gallon over there, and food is more expensive than here in the States.  Hopefully I’ll be able to arrange to stay with a family like I did last trip, or possibly stay at the YWAM base, but it would not be right to be a freeloader…I insist on paying my way and being a blessing to all who open their hearts and homes to me.

 I desperately need your help.  Would you prayerfully consider making a generous tax deductible donation to “River of Life Ministries” to help me fund this trip in its entirety?  I am willing to work to help pay for the cost of the trip.  But I will still need your help and I’m believing that God will lay it on your heart if He is calling you to sow into this very fruitful work.  The last time I sent out an e-mail like this I was literally blown away by your generosity and obedience to God in giving.  My trip to Romania in September was completely paid for, as well as my mission trip to Colorado Springs in December and my upcoming mission trip to Guatemala in February.  What a blessing to have faithful and generous partners like you!  God knows how to make even $1.00 stretch to provide for one hundred times that value in ministry!  But I need your help again.  If you are financially “strapped” and cannot help at this time, that’s totally OK…I will pray for you that your financial situation turns for the better.  But if you can help, I’m asking that you consider making a tax deductible gift of any amount which will go a long way in helping me to make this trip possible.  Again, I need at least $1000 additional to completely pay for this trip.  I am trusting that God knows where the finances are and that He will bring them in!

 If you have any questions, please don’t hesitate to write to me or call me.  I will be completely open, honest, and transparent with you about how I use the funds that you so generously give.  I will also pray that the Lord bless you 100-fold in return, in addition to the blessing you will receive from the fruit that is born from my missionary labor of love in Christ in Romania and other places as God calls me.

 Thank you for reading this somewhat lengthy e-mail.  I sincerely appreciate your friendship and partnership in the Gospel of Jesus Christ.

 God bless you!  I hope to hear from you soon!  All of my contact information is shown below.

 Mai bogat Dumnezeu sa binecuvanteze pe voi toti cu dragoste lui, mila, harul, si pace! (Romanian)

(May God richly bless all of you with his love, mercy, grace, and peace!)

Pastor Edward Fernandez

River of Life Ministries

284 Fourth St., South Amboy, NJ  08879

Home:  (732) 525-1664

Cell:     (732) 241-5147

E-mails:

PastorFernandez@optonline.net

PastorFernandez@RiverofLife.net (Romania mission related e-mail)

PastorEdFernandez@gmail.com  (alternate e-mail address)

Web Site: http://www.RiverofLife.net   (check out the latest report of my ministry activities in Colorado…see my blog page on the web site!) 

 Facebook:  http://www.facebook.com/PastorFernandez

(Ed Fernandez – Central Jersey, USA)

Skype ID:   PastorEdFernandez   (audio and video)

Blogs:  http://www.RiverofLife.net/?p=325   and   http://PastorEdwardFernandez.blogspot.com

To make a comment on any post in this blog section (see list of blog posts in the left side widget column), send me an e-mail with your comment and I’ll consider posting it after reviewing it.  I had to resort to this method because of the number of non-sensical, spam-type of comments that I’ve been receiving lately.  I regret having to make this change, but it is necessary.  Thank you for your understanding.  I hope to hear from you!

Having been a pastor for all of my adult life, I know what your lives are filled with, what consumes your time, the problems you face, the burdens you carry, as well as all of the joys of the pastoral ministry. I speak humbly from experience here, not as a judge, but as one who has a different perspective now that I am not serving a congregation as its pastor, now that I am a lay member of a congregation along with the rest of those who are members in the Kingdom of God. “Hindsight is always 20-20″, as the saying goes, and it is true. If only hindsight could be seen as foresight. That’s where God’s vision, leading, and His words of wisdom, knowledge, and prophecy spoken TO us as pastors come in.

BUSY-NESS…

Ahh, every pastor or ministry leader in the world of every time since creation has used this phrase MANY times over (sometimes many times a DAY)…”I’m just SO BUSY!” And that is the most common excuse we give when we have to apologize for some shortcoming…”I’m so sorry I didn’t ………, I am just so busy with …….” (and that excuse can be worded differently, but say the same thing, in about a million different self-excusing and busy-ness legitimizing ways).

Let me speak briefly and to the point. We were never called by God to be BUSY. We were called to shepherd God’s people. Jesus is the Great Shepherd, we are His under-shepherds. Our calling is no different than Jesus’ calling as the Great Shepherd. What Jesus did we are to do as pastors and under-shepherds. And Jesus was NEVER BUSY…at least He was never TOO busy to shepherd His flock. The modern institution of the church (which looks and operates today absolutely NOTHING like God intended it to look like or operate as) imposes duties, responsibilities, administrations, chores, tasks, meetings, committees, boards, services, etc., etc., on pastors and other ministry leaders that are very effectual at KEEPING us pastors from the only true call on our lives which is shepherding the flock that we have been entrusted with, whose souls WE are responsible for. When the job becomes more important than the family, when administration becomes more important than the call, when preparing the message for the flock becomes more important than the flock itself, when meetings and tasks crowd out of our schedules our availability TO the flock, WHEN WE AS THE SHEPHERDS CEASE TO HAVE THE SMELL OF SHEEP ON US, then it is time for us (YOU!) to step back, to retreat, to find that lonely place with God, to CEASE ALL of the “important” activities that keep us from our true calling. If we are not willing to do that, then it is time that we forfeit the very mantle of that calling. The sheep deserve better. God will not put up with us because of His love for the sheep. He said in His word that He Himself would provide for them true shepherds who would bind up their wounds, feed them, guide them, love them! Too many pastors love (really, I think most tend to secretly hate) their jobs, but hate having to deal with people. I have heard this many times…”this would be a wonderful job except for the people I have to deal with!” GET OUT OF THE MINISTRY! NOW! If you spend all or even MOST of your time in a “cave” preparing a weekly message…if you get upset when the needs of the flock pull you away from your sermon preparation (the needs of the flock should be the BASIS of your sermon preparation!), then you are NOT a pastor/shepherd…you are a professional preacher, a soap-box orator, filled with yourself, and the church already has far too many of these…even ONE is too many. If you spend most of your time running from meeting to meeting, task to task, and you cannot find the time to return phone calls, e-mails, and text messages to members of your flock or other pastors who are crying out for your attention, then you truly are TOO BUSY, and you are NOT a pastor/shepherd. If it takes one of your flock (or ANYONE) weeks or months to schedule an appointment with you, to “squeeze in” to your very busy schedule, then you are NOT their pastor/shepherd. If you are a “loner”, and not a “team player” with the other pastors on your staff or the members of your church, then you are not a true pastor/shepherd. You SHOULD be the CHIEF MENTOR of your staff…the CHIEF SHEPHERD of your congregation…the one who is MOST available to them, not the LEAST available. If you delegate relationship and fellowship ministries more than you embrace them, it’s time for you to hang up the ministry mantle and go write books or guest speak somewhere.

Busy-ness is one of the most insidious, destructive, demonic tools of the enemy, and it is far too evidently effective (as a weapon used against the Kingdom of God) in most EVERY pastor’s life and ministry. If asked what their true feelings were, without any danger of reproach, my guess is that almost every church member would say that if they could change ONE thing about their present pastor is that he/she would be more SHEPHERDING, CARING, and AVAILABLE to him/her, just an ordinary member or attender of the congregation. Jesus had compassion on His sheep. How can we as pastors do any less? Damn the busy schedule (“damn” used respectfully and properly there, as in it needs to be “condemned”…not in a swearing manner)! It’s time that the flock that God has entrusted to every pastor be cared for by that pastor/shepherd as Jesus cares for His flock as the Great Shepherd.

Now…don’t shoot the messenger (me!)…if this hits home, don’t make a big fuss about it and no one will know it was meant for you! But if it does hit home, don’t get angry about it…get humble about it and ask God to help you change your ways and be the under-shepherd that He called you to be.

And please know, that as I said in my previous note about “The Wilderness”, that God spoke all of this to ME FIRST…it convicted MY heart, and I simply share it with you as colleagues and co-workers in the Kingdom.

To make a comment on any post in this blog section (see list of blog posts in the left side widget column), send me an e-mail with your comment and I’ll consider posting it after reviewing it.  I had to resort to this method because of the number of non-sensical, spam-type of comments that I’ve been receiving lately.  I regret having to make this change, but it is necessary.  Thank you for your understanding.  I hope to hear from you!

There is no doubt that the call of God on my life is for me to be completely sold out to the ministry of the Gospel. Admittedly, over the years, I have tried to run from this call, only to find that God has many more big fish in the sea that He calls upon (the one that swallowed Noah was only a prototype…God has mass produced them and they are all over the world now!) to bring His servants back to His reality from which they are running. I have come to the place where, instead of complaining about the burden of the church, I am yearning to feel it once again. It’s one of those things that even Hallmark puts into their greeting cards, “You don’t realize what you have until it’s gone.” To be sure, the call of God is still as strong in me as it ever was…but the outlet, the manifestation, the strategy for living that call is what is missing in my life right now, and I would go anywhere, do anything, at any cost to realize it once again. Many “words” have been spoken to me and over me, and I believe for the most part, they are “right-on”, straight from the Holy Spirit. These “words” have confirmed that I am going through a wilderness right now, a time of searching, searching within myself, searching for God to know Him more intimately, and searching for the outward manifestation of plan of God for my life and ministry.

I said to someone just last night that I need to listen to my own messages/sermons more often, for I know that the first person they are meant for is ME! I preach to myself, and then trust that others who hear the message(s) are in the same or similar places in their lives, and then I pray that the Word of God will speak to both me and them and bring about whatever God wants to do in our lives. This is definitely true about the whole “wilderness” thing. God gave me a message to preach entitled, “The Redemptive Wilderness”. (Download this message for free from: http://www.riveroflife.net/?page_id=23 ). I have listened to it again and it was as if someone totally different was preaching to me…and only to me. I have trouble believing that I actually spoke those words that I am now listening to. I don’t know if any other preachers/teachers have ever had this experience, but that really doesn’t matter right now. God is using ME to speak to ME!!

There are other things that God is clearly showing me while I’m in the wilderness. Take Moses, for example. He was 40 years old when he took what He thought was “service to God” and killed an Egyptian in defense of a fellow Hebrew. Yup…that was me, too. I never killed anyone, but the same spirit, the same attitude, the same arrogance drove me as it did Moses. God had to humble me and deliver me from myself. It took 40 long years in the wilderness for Moses…so long that He forgot about the call of God on his life and simply accepted the notion that he would be in the wilderness for the rest of his life. It was in the wilderness that the former Moses died, but God’s call on his life did NOT die, it was as sure as ever. At the burning bush God called Moses again…not a different call, but a call to a DIFFERENT Moses…a CHANGED Moses…a HUMBLED Moses…a Moses who was not so full of himself as he was 40 years earlier. The Scripture tells almost NOTHING about Moses’ wilderness years…almost as if they were unimportant. But they were the MOST important years in Moses’ life. Without them Moses would have been the zealot the people wanted. Without them he would have been tempted as Jesus was tempted to try to forcefully overthrow those who kept him and his people in bondage. This is never God’s way…but it is always man’s way. Moses needed his wilderness time, and God drove him there as an act of His mercy and love so that God’s true power would be seen in and worked through a humble, yet spiritually confident, Moses 40 years later. It was only then that Moses could be used by God as the “deliverer” of His people, because it was only then that Moses would know in his heart and proclaim to all without fear and without personal pride that it was not he who delivered the people but it was the power of the living God that did so! It turns out that the wilderness preceded Moses true usefulness in the Kingdom of God…it wasn’t the END of his ministry as he undoubtedly thought 40 years earlier, but it was the mark of the BEGINNING of it!!!!

Then, there is the life of Jesus to consider (no small consideration, huh?)! Other than the first 2-3 years of his life (His birth and one or two childhood stories), we know NOTHING of His life until John the Baptist makes his proclamation when he sees Jesus coming to be baptized (Jesus is 30 years old at this point)…total anonymity for 28+ years. Then, BAM! Jesus is on the scene with the voice of God thundering from the heavens over Him. But, then there’s the wilderness. It seems that one of the main qualifications of every true servant of God is that they not only experience a wilderness “wandering” in their life, but that they be DRIVEN INTO the wilderness by GOD HIMSELF! The Scripture says that Jesus was DRIVEN into the wilderness by the Holy Spirit, and the wilderness was a place of character development, testing, and confirmation of God’s call!…even in the life and ministry of Jesus! And the wilderness was at the very BEGINNING of Jesus’ ministry.

Jonah in the belly of the fish, Moses on the backside of the desert, Jesus driven into the wilderness…it appears to me that I am in not only good company, but the BEST company.

So, I, too, now realize that I am only at the beginning, not at the end, of the ministry God has called me to. There is still much work to be done, much more usefulness for my life and my calling than I have admitted in the past few years. I still don’t see the details of any of it yet, as I’m still waiting for my own personal “burning bush” and for God to personally give me His orders for what to do next. The prophetic words that have been spoken over me by more than a few godly people (totally unrelated to each other, and at different times and from different places) from Romania to Colorado and places in between have confirmed in me the vision that I will be (that I am as God sees me to be) more of an apostle than a pastor, more of a Paul than a Timothy, a minister to ministers, called to cities and regions and not single congregations, to BE the River of Life instead of searching FOR that River, BEING a refreshment to the whole body of Christ, helping to birth congregations in those places, raising up godly leaders, mentoring the servants of God wherever they are and wherever I go, and that I am not to seek to FIND my place in the Kingdom but to know that wherever I am IS my place. Sincerely, I receive these words as from God Himself, and I am eternally thankful for His servants who spoke them into my life. Still, for one who has only ever known the pastoral ministry, one pastor in one church, it is a stretch for my carnal mind and physical being to wrap myself around this vision. It is SO MUCH BIGGER than I am, than I can imagine God ever doing in my life. Yet, I recognize that I have been in the places of both Noah and Moses. God has undoubtedly called me, chased me when I’ve run away, forgiven me, encouraged me, brought me back, then driven me out (into the wilderness), and now I’m waiting for my own personal “burning bush”.

In the meantime, I believe with all my heart that a “stripping away” process is going on. He is directing me to empty myself. He is commanding me to stop all of my “wheel-spinning”, human efforts to try to find or make His call on my life “appear” or manifest (sending out resumes, seeking staff positions, looking for networking opportunities with other pastors/churches, etc., etc.). He is directing me to fast from most (perhaps ALL…I will know this within several weeks from now) of the ministries that I am now involved in so that I can have or BE a “clean slate” for Him to write His will upon in my heart and mind. I am obediently pulling back (not leaving my call or the ministry), I am withdrawing from most church activities and ministries, which I believe is God’s direction for me right now. I am placing my future missionary plans (Romania, Colorado, etc.) on hold for the time being (I’m not forsaking them, just putting them on hold until I hear from the Lord). I am not discouraged, I am not disappointed, I am not angry or bitter in any of this. To the contrary, I am broken, I am humbled, I am poor in spirit, I am naked and transparent before my God. Yet, through it all I am hopeful that, as He promised, I will eventually see God, and in the process I will see myself more clearly than I have ever seen myself before, and my election and calling in Christ will be made more sure in my heart than it has ever been before.

I write and share these things with all of you so that if any of you are in the same or similar place(s) as I am or have been, you can be encouraged along with me. May God add His grace and His favor to what I have written, and may it be received by all who read it in the humble spirit of my heart in which I write and share it.

God bless you all, in Jesus’ Name!

- Pastor Ed Fernandez

Ahh, Newark Liberty International Airport at 5:00 a.m…one would think ANY place at 5:00 a.m. would be relatively inactive and sleepy, but NOT Newark Airport!  It’s kind of like New York City…it NEVER sleeps!  What would one do if the airport police weren’t yelling at you to move your car within 15 seconds of pulling upo to the curb?!  I hardly had time to get my bags out of the trunk…evidently travelers are supposed to have their luggage delivered to the airport the day before the flight, or so the Port Authority police would have you think.  Anyway, once the dropping off ordeal was completed (thanks to Jo Ann Hart for driving me to the airport!), I slowly made my way to the check-in counter, and about 30 minutes later I was enjoying the friendly faces and demeanors (NOT!) of the Newark Airport TSA team.  Seriously, they must be screened for their ability to be friendly and courteous, and if they exhibit even a slight amount of either of these in their job application and interview, they are NOT hired!  But, I suppose this is the price that must be paid for airport and airline security.  All of my flights made it to their destinations safely, so the TSA officers did their jobs well.

After boarding the plane and taxiing down the runway, my plane was airborn only 15 minutes behind schedule, which is a miracle in itself, even under clear skies and at 7:00 a.m. on a weekday.  Chicago O’Hare Airport, here I come!

O’Hare International Airport can’t be described in words.  You just have to be there to appreciate it.  So many terminals, so many gates, so little time!  Of course, my arrival gate and my connecting flight’s departure gate were at complete opposite ends of the massive expanse that is O’Hare.  Are we having fun yet?  I arrived at my departure gate with only 20 minutes to spare before boarding my connecting flight.  I didn’t know this in advance, but there was really no need to hurry there.  Twenty minutes early turned into almost a 3-hour wait (DELAY!).  It seemed that the plane that I was supposed to board had navigation problems.  No, not the “overshoot the airport by 150 miles” kind of problem, but we were told that the automatic navigation instruments were “off” by 30 degrees!  I wanted to go to Colorado Springs, and had we flown on the originally scheduled plane we probably would have ended up in Phoenix, AZ.  Thank you, United Airlines, for getting us a new (well, not new, but different) airplane.  Why couldn’t you have done this 2 hours earlier, though?  So, almost 3 hours late I was in the air on my way to Colorado Springs.  Thank God!

Anybody ever heard of dominos?  (Not the pizza chain)  Well, the 3-hour delay in Chicago caused the domino effect on the arrival in Colorado Springs.  Although some time was made up in the air, I landed in Colorado Springs 2 hours and 30 minutes late.  Ordinarily, this wouldn’t have posed any problems, but Doug White (see his blog site – http://experiencesofayoungbeliever.wordpress.com ) was picking me up and the delayed flight made the timing of things in Colorado Springs just a bit tight, to say the least.  My condolences and prayers are with the entire White family, as Doug’s aunt died the previous week, and we now had just enough time to drive from the airport to the church in order to be on time for the 3:00 p.m. memorial service.  Suitcase in tow from the car in the parking lot, I made my way to the church men’s room where I went from jeans, boots, and a sweatshirt into something more appropriate for a memorial service.  I met Doug’s wonderful family for the first time at this service.  I am very happy to have had the opportunity to be with them during this time, and my heart went out to all of them at the loss of Doug’s father’s sister.

On Wednesday night (the day I arrived in Colorado Springs) I also had the wonderful pleasure of meeting Neil Kovac and his wife, Charity, for the first time.  I had only met Neil on Facebook, and here I was moving in with him for the next week to come.  What wonderful hosts the Kovacs were!  The took me in having never met me face-to-face before.  (I neglected to mention earlier that I never before met Theresa or Steve White, Doug’s parents, either…only on Facebook!)

Wednesday night we rehearsed as a worship team for the first time together.  It was more like a “getting to know you” night, and was a tremendous good time.  Neil removed all of the furniture from his living room and set up his sound system there.  Now that’s going the extra mile!  Neil played guitar and hand drums, Doug played bass, and I played the acoustic guitar.  Theresa joined us on Thursday night for our second rehearsal (Theresa sang and played keyboard) at Neil’s home.  What a wonderful time we had getting to know each other better and getting ready for our ministry times to come in the next few days.

Thursday was my “sight-seeing” day.  Neil was my personal cheauffer as we drove all around the area and I was literally astounded at the majestic view of the Rocky Mountains, with Pikes Peak towering over all in the background.   We toured a natural wonder called, “The Garden of the Gods”, which is a wide-spread area of breath-taking rock formations at the base of Pike’s Peak.  You can see all of my photos from this day in the Media Gallery page.

Friday afternoon we all met at the Lon Chaney Theater in downtown Colorado Springs to set up the sound system and have one last rehearsal. 

Lon Chaney Theater, Colorado Springs, CO - "The Jesus Show"

That evening we led worship for “The Jesus Show”, a time of Holy Ghost freedom where we worshiped, prayed, learned from the Word as Pastor Schlyce Jiminez (see http://www.schlyce.org) shared from her heart, and experienced a corporate anointing and presence of God that I have not experienced since I was in Pensacola at the Brownsville Revival in the year 2000.  I found out first-hand why it was called, “The Jesus Show”.  Jesus showed up, and He WAS the show!

Anthony Sacco and Neil Kovac

Saturday night I accompanied Neil and his good friend (now MY good friend as well) Anthony Carmen Sacco to a local coffee shop in Colorado Springs, Pikes Perk Cafe. 

Neil and Anthony wowed the patrons of the cafe that night with their wonderful talents of playing their guitars and singing, with all of their songs being their own compositions!

On Sunday morning our newly formed worship team led worship at the newly planted church, Prayer Mountain, which was begun on November 1st by Pastor Schlyce Jiminez (see http://www.prayermountainchurch.org) .    What an awesome anointing that is on Pastor Schlyce (pronounced like “Shah-leese”) to minister the Word of God in preaching, words of knowledge and wisdom, and the prophetic word that God speaks through her!  God spoke so directly into my life and ministry that day that I came away with a renewed sense of purpose and calling, and an overflowing filling of the love, compassion, and Spirit of God.  Thank you, Lord, and thank you Pastor Schlyce!

Feeding the Hungry at the Springs Rescue Mission

 
On Monday evening Neil and I went to the Springs Rescue Mission in downtown Colorado Springs.  To my amazement, over 75 hungry, homeless people showed up at dinnertime, and they were served a wonderful hot meal and were given a warm blanket to keep.  Neil and I led worship at the Rescue Mission, and I preached a 6-minute message from the Word with all those in attendance at the mission.  “Wait ’till Your Father Gets Home” was my message…emphasizing that the phrase most of us heard many times from our childhood was also the way most people perceived God…as the heavenly Father whose sole purpose was to catch us in our sin and punish us accordingly.  It’s not any wonder that most people don’t want to draw near to God…they’re AFRAID of Him!  Following the message I challenged everyong there to come to God as the heavenly Father who WANTS to be with us, not to punish us but to LOVE us, HEAL us, FEED us, CLOTHE us, CARE for us, PROVIDE for us, etc., even when we have sinned.  I urged them to run TO God and not away from Him…and then they would find the God that Jesus came to reveal to us.  I believe every heart was touched by this Word and lives were changed that night.

My final evening in Colorado I spent with Doug White and his parents, Theresa and Steve.  I had only met Doug in Romania on my previous two trips there (May and September, 2009), but now I felt like “family” in his home.  We shared a wonderful dinner together (the first time I had ever eaten venison…it was so deliciously good!) and spent the evening fellowshiping and praying with each other.  I truly was sad to see the evening come to an end.  After an almost tearful “good-bye” with Theresa and Steve, Doug drove me back to my host’s home (Neil Kovac), where I then packed my bags in preparation for the next day’s trip back to Jersey.

Unlike my flights TO Colorado Springs, my two flights home were very uneventful, and just as importantly, they were both on time, even 15 minutes early in landing in Newark at 6:55 p.m. on Wednesday, December 16th.

On this trip, which was so well worth the airfare and expenses, I felt that God ministered to me even more than He used me to minister to those in Colorado Springs.  I came back renewed and refreshed, ready to do it again as soon as the Lord opens the door of opportunity for me.  Thank you so much, Neil and Charity Kovac, as well as Doug, Theresa, and Steve White, for your friendship and hospitality.  I pray that the Lord bless you with a 100-fold blessing for what you shared with me!  I also thank God for Pastor Schlyce Jiminez and all of the wonderful brothers and sisters in the Lord at “The Jesus Show” and Prayer Mountain Church.  I will never be the same again because of your openness in hearing from the Lord and your willingness to minister to me.  I know that when I return to Colorado again in the near future you will have totally outgrown the place you are renting for your new congregation.  The favor of God is upon you and His presence is so very obvious in your midst!

Now…it’s time to start planning my next mission trip to Romania!  (Spring, 2010)

Am servi un astfel de Dumnezeu minunat! (We serve such an awesome God!)

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